she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
