dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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