Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
