I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
