There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
