Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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