A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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