It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
