glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize