you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
