Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
