Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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