it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I puked a lego.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
