First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My balls are so social today.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
