is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
