And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
