this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
