who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
