I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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