She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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