We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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