So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
