My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
