we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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