party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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