Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
