I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
