i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
