a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
