dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize