sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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