watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize