He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
