Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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