I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I smell stomach acid.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
