It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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