Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Acid is not a monday night drug
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
