dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
