plz talk dirty to me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
