u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
