is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i've created a new STD.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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