I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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