I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
