Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
