...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
