I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize