the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
