SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
