You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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