Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
