you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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