the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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