can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
