I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
