I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
