we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I had to cum in my sink.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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