Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize