I must be too annoying 4 u.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
