Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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