Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
