And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
