Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
