so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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