I must be too annoying 4 u.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
not ubering you a puppy
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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