Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
where does the pee come out of this thing
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize