I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
