Grow some girl-balls and come out already
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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