my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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