I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
