Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
