You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
