I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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