I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I looked at my own cervix.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize