Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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